Daily thoughts from a SAHM

Before I begin, I just wanted to clarify something. DS stands for dear son, dh for dear husband. Yes, I have spent too much time on the parenting message boards.

Yes, I am at home with my three-month old son. He is wonderful, but there are many things about staying at home with him that I had not considered before he arrived. Sometimes it seems that I spend all day just talking to myself. Sure, I talk to ds all the time, and I just melt when he responds with one of his big wide gummy grins, but by the end of each day I crave having a normal adult conversation - one that doesn't occur in my head!

I often feel like I need to get out of the house, but there are so many things that complicate my urge to just run out spontaneously. My ds is often very cranky in his car seat, so if we do go somewhere, I either just have to hope that he falls asleep in his seat and stays that way, or take him out and carry him around, but he's getting pretty heavy to do that. When I do go out, I have to run through my options, do I take him inside the store in his carseat? Maybe, if he's sleeping. If he's awake, I could carry him as long as I don't need two hands and I don't need to get too many things. Or, I could keep him in his carseat and attach it to the stroller that it came with as a set. I feel like I need to use that more to get my money's worth. I do have that jogging stroller, but that's no good in stores. I could take himn around the neighborhood later in it, but I would have to put my dog on a leash and he doesn't like that much, he prefers to run free. Well, I could use the umbrella stroller, but he's still pretty little for that, and the last time I put him in it he didn't like it anyways.

And what is with those older ladies who frown at you if you don't have a hat on your baby, or don't have him bundled into four layers of clothes? I think I know my baby well enough to know if he is too cold or uncomfortable.

The other day I finally had a chance to make myself a great lunch while ds was sleeping. I just got it done, sat down at the table to eat it and wouldn't you know it, he wakes up and wants to be held and fed. So I ended up eating it as fast as I could while I vibrated him in the bouncy seat and made funny noises with my mouth full. It made me think of how many times I have been unable to make myself a good lunch so, using one hand have thrown a couple pieces of bread in the toaster, but by the time I got them buttered and started eating, I got distracted and ended up setting a piece down somewhere while I changed a poopy diaper. Only a hour later did I discover the cold piece, but still was hungry enough to eat it! Ahh, the one-handed meals.

Come to think of it, I have learned to do a lot of things one-handed, like typing this. My left arm is going to be so much stronger than my right because I carry him with my left arm while I cook, clean, type, or whatever with my right.

The other day we were on our way back from the store and he fell asleep just before we got home. It seems like he wakes up so easily the minute the car stops, so I was very tempted to just keep driving. But where to? I know I would just end up going across town and running through a drive-thru somewhere and ordering something bad that would easily make up the 500 extra calories I'm supposed to be eating while I breastfeed.

I consider myself lucky so far that I haven't gotten in an accident while I have been driving around. Like I said earlier, ds doesn't like his carseat sometimes and I don't like to hear him crying. So I attempt with my right hand to reach back into the stupid rear-facing seat to find his Nuk that has somehow worked it's way all the way down under his butt. I manage to get it, but by that time he is so frantic that he doesn't want it anyways. I shake his hanging toys and try to talk loud enough to him so that he can hear my voice over his crying to let him know that I am there, otherwise he wouldn't know, he's just staring at the back seat.

More ramblings to come...